DRAWER

I think anyone in a relationship would be thrilled to find out your significant other has left a drawer empty for your things. Even if he complains that he doesn’t have enough space for his own things. He STILL kept a drawer empty.

At that moment, I was really touched and moved.

Advertisements

LIFE IMITATES ART, ART IMITATES LIFE…?

I wonder if my current state of mind is a result of watching lesser movies than before, or that I don’t catch up on my shows as consistently as before. I used to really love escaping into the the world of movies and following closely into the lives of my beloved TV characters.

But, when age and life catches up, I gave in to time for resting and meetups. Intangible stuff. I can always watch these movies and TV shows later. It is really tiring being a grown-up. Adult life sucks. You need to pay bills and future loans, yet you are stuck in a job you are growing to dislike. The above case may not apply to you, but it does to me.

So, maybe in the process of cutting down these movies and TV shows, I’m starting to realize how pathetic my life is. No more supernatural elements to distract me. No more alternative post-apocalyptic lifestyle to look forward to. No weapons to carry. Nothing.

THIS FEELING OF DISSATISFACTION

I’m not sure if this is The Quarter Life Crisis or it is because I’ve been forced into something I am disinterested at work.

It started a few weeks ago. I felt everything I did was non-value added. Tasks that can be done by anyone with a basic certificate or just a retiree. No offence to those mentioned, but I feel I can do better, which is why I left the previous place. There is no job fulfilment.

Then, as the weeks past, I started to accept it. I didn’t even give them a RBF or a sulky face when they asked me to learn new tasks (that I felt was worst than what I was currently doing). For a few moments, I was motivated to read up and learn. But that only lasted for those few moments.

A friend told me working is purely for money. You can never earn much doing what you love, nor can you earn a lot and love what you do. Sigh.

Wake me up when September ends.

WE’RE NOT SHINY, HAPPY PEOPLE

A part of me hopes I don’t have Meredith Grey’s dark and twisty side hidden deep inside me. It manifests itself, once in a while. Sometimes in whole, sometimes in bits.

But it was hard to avoid it last night and I wasn’t the only one who saw it and felt it.

Meredith Grey: Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple – to be happy. Maybe it’s this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to state’s of bliss, the more confused we get – to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling – trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it’s been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.
– Grey’s Anatomy, S06E22

LIMITS

How much can one person tolerate before letting go of everything?

You leave a comfort zone for a better life. When you find out the grass isn’t as green as you believed, you give yourself a timeline. A date to put an end to all this. Yet during this period, there are multiple setbacks. You can tolerate past all these but do you want to?

Personally, I do not know my limits. I drink till I puke. I run till my insides hurt. I use my phone  battery till the last percentage. Each time, I’m just pushing myself more. So, how much more before there isn’t any space to push?

This just complicates many things because my number one priority is to save up as much as I can! Now, I have to think of so many other things which is draining my brain and sapping my energy.

DEFINING NEEDS AND WANTS

We often look for satisfaction at work. Most of the time, we work because we have no choice. We need our salaries to sustain our needs and wants – that iPhone, the branded bag, the holidays and everything else.

Our salaries doesn’t seem to be enough though. There are tonnes of bills to pay and sometimes, you are left with peanuts for your own enlightenment. Last night, I received my credit card bill and was shocked that my supplementary card holder spent more than I did. Who’s the main cardholder, again?

Money is hard to earn, and right now, I think twice about the next expensive meal I will be having and all the festive spending that is happening around me. That also includes the major spending ticket at the end of the month. I have no idea where the money will grow from.

So, I have decided to implement a few steps to help me save money for this month and the next month.

  1. Stop all online shopping

    It’s true – my folks used to tell me to spend cash so that I know how much I am spending. Remember how painful it was when you have not enough money to buy stationery at the bookshop when you were kids? Yup, that’s because you only receive your allowance in cash. Now, there are credit cards, Paypal and many other cashless methods, making you spend more money without knowing.

    Bye bye Carousell. Bye bye Qoo10. Bye bye eBay.

  2. Keep only one credit credit for your spending

    We have credit cards from major banks to enjoy the different promotions at different places. But if you concentrate all your spending on one card, you might start to realize that you have been taking that card out too much and your monthly bill will scare the shit out of you.

  3. Set aside a fixed amount for lunch

    A $5 lunch should get me somewhere.

Say yes to SAVINGS, no to spending.

UNDERSTANDING AND COMPROMISES

Each year when Valentine’s Day is round the corner, we often ask ourselves the definition of love.

Is it showering your Significant Other (SO) with lots of gifts?
Is it cooking a meal for your SO?
Is it surprising your SO when he/she least expects it?

It can be any of all of the above. It can also include giving up the last piece of crispy chicken skin from Popeye’s/KFC to your SO, or getting something he/she really wants even if you have to bring your own lunch from home for a month.

Over this period of almost two years, I have experienced a variety of actions and inactions that can be defined as love. I have to say, understanding your SO and making compromises is very important to sustain a relationship. You may not agree with everything he/she does, but you know if he/she does not do it, it wouldn’t be them. Then you start to think, is it really that bad if they do what they do?

May you be happy this Valentine’s Day.